Waiting for the world to fall

Thank-you to 'Jars of Clay' for the blog title which I stole from their song. Despite my progress at work I ended this week with that sense of missing something, waiting for the world to fall like I was expecting it to. I spent most of the week worrying over renting out my flat, not specific worries, just the 'did I lock the front door?' type of worries that take hold of us all. My mind just kept drifting back to the flat whenever I let it roam. Juxtaposed with this cycle of anxious thoughts I've been thinking on two of the Psalms of Ascent. I've been working my slow way through these psalms for months, they pick up on many themes which Christians walk through as our faith grows. I've been reading Eugene Peterson's book 'A Long Obedience in the Same Direction' which has a chapter commenting on each psalm. Psalm 131 and 132 have been living with me through the unease of the last week. For me Psalm 131 is an interesting one ' I do not concern myself with great matters or things to wonderful for me'. This isn't really a statement a scientist can make we spend our days slowly but surely delving into the ways of creation which is a great matter and one far too wonderful for me. This aside I like the image of us slowly growing to be able to love God for himself not love God because of what he does for us like a child as it's weaned learns to love it's mother for herself not for the milk she provides. Psalm 132 talks about Israel's journey with God. Peterson makes the point about our need for a biblical memory that we can use to make decisions (as oppose to just relying on the decision making data we have stored in our lifetime), and what a way to live based on the memory of thousands of years of relationship with God.

Anyway, it turns out you can out-walk worries if you walk far enough... A four mile walk along the Burke-Gilman trail (old train line now cycle path) wasn't quite long enough, but getting a lift to the University District and meandering my way back another four miles, whilst shopping and generally noising around, did in fact out walk my worries. Here are a few photos from my travels...

This is the local (2 miles away) shopping center

The Americans have finally cottoned on to gurgle jugs
(I say finally based on my American friends who hadn't
heard of them 12 years ago)

This is the Burke-Gilman track

This is the University District Farmer's Market
which was closing down before I got there. 

mmm... a refreshing iced
lavender cream earl grey!

This the University of Washington campus

Some of the buildings on campus

and another building...

pretty fluffy pink flowers

a waterfall clock 

With deer and bear

cat and ?

bird and ?

and salmon!

 This morning I went to a Congregational Church in the University District. This was a large church and as such it wasn't easy to speak with anyone. The music was good, some pieces sung by a trio of women who pulled off some nice harmonies and complicated round, with a big congregation the hymns had some oomph, but not what I'm used to... I think I have been spoilt by Cairn's Road, it may not be perfect but it's close!

My landlady has a pear tree that has been busy dropping pears for the last week. To fulfill my pear eating obligation I made pear pancakes for breakfast and pear and ginger cake for general eating. As if that wasn't enough I also baked some bread and made Calzone...My bread had not one, not two, but three sessions of rising at room temperature (I was following instructions on the back of the packet); the bread took all afternoon to make and I am now quite tired but I am munching the end off my freshly baked loaf!

Pear Pancakes

Pear and Ginger cake

Calzone with red pepper, squash, onions, sausage, pepperoni, ground (minced) beef and bacon. 

wholemeal loaf finally ready at 8pm

On cell staining (what I've been doing at work)

This week I have 1) managed to not kill all my cells with love during an intracellular staining experiment, 2) managed to stain for transcription factors successfully, and 3) managed to get through a phospho flow experiment (although I won't know if it worked till next week). The pictures below explain what those things are.

Four Saturdays in I'm running behind on the blog posts!

Saturday number two (the 10th) seems a long time ago now. Lois my landlady took me off to the University District 'Farmers' Market. This is a great place to wander around, it's a small market with  'local' produce occupying a about 150ft (?) square. I was a little overwhelmed by the number of stalls selling produce but I bought eggplant, corn (on the cob), cherries, peppers, nectarines, and Squeakers; Squeakers are immature cheese lumps that are very yummy and squeak against your teeth as you bite them! Unfortunately I didn't take any photos so I'll have to blog about it some other time. Sunday I went to a local Baptist church where I arrived late. They are a small congregation a large part of which seem to be one family with a brood of children aging 35 to 15 (?). They also seem to be lovely people and once they realised I was not connected to  a large group who were visiting that Sunday made me feel very welcome. They also sent me a thank-you card and gave me a church pen! I'm struggling somewhat in finding a church with more traditional values but a modern style of music. It seems the suburbs support organ music - which is lovely (especially when played by my previous hostess Laurie) - but requires a certain shift in musical ear that I haven't developed yet... the next note will be a ??? The added challenge being that I'm an alto who usually sings a lower harmony than the melody - I was not made for those high D's and E's.

This is on the way to work, unfortunately snapped a few seconds
late. Sometimes I go on a bus that goes of the big bridge (free way)
other times I go this route... must try and take more photos this week!

The week went well at work I survived my first experiment but seemed to loose all my cells during my first attempt at intracellular staining...At some point I'm going to blog about the techniques I'm using at work but today is not that day...

Last weekend (17th) I went to visit Laurie and John, partly to see them and partly to reclaim the stuff they had kindly let me leave at their house. Saturday morning started with pancakes (hurray!) to be more specific strawberry and banana pancakes from IHOP (International House of Pancakes). Also coffee with hazelnut creamer... IHOP do nice coffee. The rest of the day I learned a little about pickling whilst I was reading. The reading had nothing to do with pickles but Laurie was teaching her friend about it so I listened in a little. Sunday was up and packed into the pick-up for church (with John and Laurie) and then a quick walk in the evening before the week rolled around again.

here and back again!

My new lounge

My new bedroom

Well welcome back to the blog. After a lot of hard work (and help from my lovely sister) I managed to get my flat cleared and tidy (well at least I think it's tidy!). I haven't got a renter yet but we'll see how that goes. I left my house at about 8pm on Thursday the 1st of August by taxi, then to Mum and Dad's by train for an overnight stay. Saturday Mum and Me trained and bused to Heathrow, security took about 15 minutes which gave me plenty of time to sit in terminal 5. On the plane I didn't sleep at all so I managed to watch no less than four films ('Oblivion', 'The Big Wedding', 'Iron Man 3', 'The Bling Ring'); this was not my original plan and from it you can deduce my appalling movie taste!  We arrived in Seattle at 5pm and having situated myself at the rear of the plane I was pretty much the last through immigration, but the good news is he stamped my passport! After collecting my two 23kg (51lb) suitcases (you've got to love BA) and with my 15kg hand luggage loaded on the cart I was ready to meet the person I am lodging with... it would have gone a little smoother if I could tell the difference between arrivals and departures but regardless I finally got back to my new home at 7:30pm and was cooked a lovely meal. I had, at last, arrived!

Working back from church

Saturday I breakfasted on apple pancakes and we took a driving tour of the neighbourhood including dropping into the local grocery store for essentials (such as tea and milk). There may have also been a sneaky nap on Saturday afternoon but luckily Lois woke me up at 6pm before I could completely ruin my sleep pattern. We took a quick walking tour of the surrounding neighbourhood (see photos) and then to bed!

I plan to do some initial church hunting over the summer then do another tour in the autumn when everyone is back to full strength. Last Sunday I managed to get myself to a local United Methodist church. The people were lovely and fed me cake! They have a lady pastor who may have a second calling as a comic mime artist because her facial expressions were just a joy to behold. The subject of her sermon was disagreements in the church (based on Acts 15 to 16:5) and I thought she did a good job, in any case she ended with Wesley's 39th Sermon on 2 Kings 10:15 (see a few quotes below) which is fab (at least I think so)!

"If it be, give me thy hand." I do not mean, "Be of my opinion." You need not: I do not expect or desire it. Neither do I mean, "I will be of your opinion." I cannot, it does not depend on my choice: I can no more think, than I can see or hear, as I will. Keep you your opinion; I mine; and that as steadily as ever. You need not even endeavour to come over to me, or bring me over to you. I do not desire you to dispute those points, or to hear or speak one word concerning them. Let all opinions alone on one side and the other: only "give me thine hand." 

"I mean, Secondly, commend me to God in all thy prayers; wrestle with him in my behalf, that he would speedily correct what he sees amiss, and supply what is wanting in me. In thy nearest access to the throne of grace, beg of him who is then very present with thee, that my heart may be more as thy heart, more right both toward God and toward man; that I may have a fuller conviction of things not seen, and a stronger view of the love of God in Christ Jesus; may more steadily walk by faith, not by sight; and more earnestly grasp eternal life. Pray that the love of God and of all mankind may be more largely poured into my heart; that I may be more fervent and active in doing the will of my Father which is in heaven, more zealous of good works, and more careful to abstain from all appearance of evil."

"I mean, Thirdly, provoke me to love and to good works. Second thy prayer, as thou hast opportunity, by speaking to me, in love, whatsoever thou believest to be for my soul's health. Quicken me in the work which God has given me to do, and instruct me how to do it more perfectly."

Sunday afternoon we went to the library and signed me up. In the afternoon I had a lovely walk. The area I am living in is safe to walk around and it even has sidewalks along most of the roads! Sunday afternoon I took a walk around the old naval base which has been turned into community buildings/gyms/housing... In the same area some bits of reclaimed lands are now being unclaimed and turned back into marsh providing every one with some pleasant areas to walk around (Magnuson park).

One of the ponds in the swamp area

Queen Anne's Lace (ish) with a black spot in it

An area that has only just been replanted and marshified this year

Lake Washington

Mt Rainier is in the background (honest!)

 Monday morning I began work. I'm so glad of my previous visit because there was a sense of coming home, or at least coming back to the familiar. Getting up at 6am again with the hour commute hasn't been so much fun but at least it gets me to work early. I have repeated one of my previous flow experiments and haven't completely forgotten what I'm doing but I'm still finding my feet really! That completes my first week and I think it's about time to wrap up this blog entry too!

Ribena at $12 a bottle

Baked beans at $3.49 per can

Introduction: Scientific faith and Christian Curiosity – a little bit about how I got here...

*WARNING* this is a long blog...

Just for fun!

These photos are from Down Thomas, UK
(not Seattle!)

 It was the August 2012, with my thesis submitted and awaiting my viva, I was finally nearing the end of the tunnel which was my PhD and I seriously started considering what came next. My thesis hadn’t really left me with any unanswered questions that I was in the position to ask (I had a lot of questions but no populations suitable for asking the question). This was when my supervisors suggested I think about working abroad. My initial reaction was somewhat hesitant (otherwise known as a loud internal NO!), but I said I would think about it. The Sunday after this found me innocently sitting in church minding my own business listening to people’s feedback from the recent Christian conference they had attended. Someone was speaking about ‘stepping out of your comfort zone’, and that’s when I felt it, that gentle internal nudge that tells you ‘this is for you’. The thought that is so alien to you, so contrary to what you want to hear, so much bigger than you ever would have considered, so ‘not you’ that you take a deep breath and you listen to God.

 

I have always been challenged by the story of that guy who came to Jesus and said I will follow you when I have buried my Father (Luke 9:57-62) and Jesus says you can’t put your hand to the plough and then look back. I can easily identify one of my treasures as my family. They are a blessing from God but there is still a temptation to put them and their desires before God. I have struggled, particularly over the last few years while my sister divorced her husband, to trust God with my family. I think it is often easier to be more cavalier with ourselves than accept that our loved ones might get hurt. I knew time abroad would mean ‘giving up’ my family for a while so it was with the heavy heart of a disciple a little torn that I took a step to follow where God called, a step out from my comfort zone and into God’s possibilities. I went into work and started to discuss where I might go in the world with my supervisors. My attitude was to push the door and see if it opened...

  

I started off thinking about three months abroad, this quickly escalated to six months, then one year. I knew I wanted to get some training in immunology (the study of the immune system). I knew we had an interesting population of people who have high risk of developing disease but haven’t actually gone on to get disease (we call them slow progressors), who potentially have interesting immunity. I knew I am simply appalling at learning languages. After a very positive response to my ‘cold e-mail’ I had a lab in Seattle who were willing to host my stay. That is, I apply for the money and pull a project together, the lab in Seattle are simply willing to have me and teach me (it’s not like a conventional job where the people I’m working with are the ones who interview me). Slowly but surely the jigsaw pieces of a project in Seattle (USA) came together. My first shot at a grant was an MRC training fellowship for a year. My application and CV was good enough to get me an interview but in the end the interviewers felt the project could be better developed and my future career path was unclear. What did it mean? Was the door shut or was this not the right door?  So we went back to the writing grant proposals.

In October I applied for project funding from Diabetes UK for a project that would take four years; I was now potential going to Seattle for up to two years (training and preliminary data) and then would have another two studying my UK based ‘interesting’ population back in Bristol. In November I applied for a Fulbright - Diabetes UK award for a year in Seattle and in early January I applied for 6 weeks in Seattle for training from the EFSD. At this point I was still feeling like this was all a bit much and not one hundred percent sure I wanted this to happen. In January I was invited to a Fulbright interview, then I found out I had been awarded the EFSD training money (six weeks in Seattle guaranteed). Before attending my Fulbright interview I made a conscious decision; I was going to hope for this, I was going to want this, I was going to pray for this to happen as oppose to those ‘your will be done prayers’ I had been indulging in before. This project was a step out of my comfort zone, the science was a step across, the subject area was unfamiliar, and this was going to take hard work, going to require more learning of a subject area I have often found overwhelming (even at A-level). I went to my Fulbright interview in London in February. During the end of my PhD and through my interviews I was inspired by the words of Psalm 139 which says ‘before a word is on my lips you know it completely, Oh Lord’ and ‘all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to pass’. My last minute prep for the Fulbright interview was to recite this psalm as I sat in the waiting room. In preparing for the interviews I had to hold firm to my faith that if God said I could do it I could do it and not give in to the fear that ‘someone else could do it better’.

 

After what I was sure was a shocking interview I found out in late February that I was a Fulbright finalist but shortly afterwards I also found out I had an interview for the Diabetes UK four year project. I had a weekend to decide whether to accept the Fulbright funding or go for the DUK funding which I might not get. At that point I could have pulled out of having horrible scary interviews and congratulated myself on a job well done but that Sunday I really felt that I should continue with the DUK interview process, that a yearlong Fulbright wasn’t enough. The next week I got an e-mail explaining that they were aware of the Fulbright (both awards were funded but DUK) and they offered me the opportunity to attend the second interview too ‘so I knew all my options’ before making a decision about what to do. My mind already made up to pursue the longer DUK funding I could easily write back and say I would be coming. After all you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, and being given a shot at both of these awards without having to choose between them was a large gift horse and not of the Trojan variety. I had another London based Fulbright day on the Monday, my Birthday on the Tuesday, and my Diabetes UK interview on the Friday. After some busy waiting I found out Maundy Thursday that I had been offered the Diabetes UK award but that they would like to combine it with the Fulbright award. So by the grace of God (and the help of a lot of hard work preparing for interviews on science I previously knew very little about, including a lot of help with practise interviews from people at work) I was awarded three separate grants. I get to be a Fulbrighter and also get to do the four year project we had designed and thanks to the EFSD I have had six weeks of training in Seattle which would have been an amazing opportunity all by itself.

 

You listen for the call of that still small voice of God, you take a deep breath, you hear the first few steps of the plan and you go for it. I am curious to see what God has planned for me in this place (Seattle), I’m intrigued and excited. I have Christian curiosity. I find it humbling that so many people have put their faith in me as a scientist, yes it’s based on the ‘facts’ of a successful scientific start to date with a good number of published papers, but it’s still a type of faith. As for my project, science is always a step into the unknown, it requires a certain faith that there is an answer out there that I can make some sense of. It requires a sense of faith in oneself because it is an often unrewarding and certainly unforgiving pursuit of what in any other sphere of life would be called daydreams (plans loosely based on our current incomplete understanding of the problem). So that is how I got to the place where I would be writing this blog; a blog about Christian Faith and Scientific Curiosity and some of the fun I things I get to do in Seattle but also the blog of a Curious Christian and a Faithful Scientist. The two states are not mutually exclusive!

Introduction: A short history of my PhD

My dissertation title, for those of you who care, was ‘Rising Incidence of Type 1 Diabetes – autoantibodies and genetics in an evolving environment’. I started my PhD in Autumn 2009 after two years working as an autoantibody technician. *If you want to know more or check my factoids why not check out the Diapedia website where they are constructing a peer reviewed and referenced encyclopaedia of the disease(s)*. The associated posts are designed to give a bit more detail to introduce you to my subject area. See; Rising Incidence, Type 1 diabetes, Autoantibodies, Genetics, Environment. Not all the posts are up yet, as I write them I will link them together and link them in here.

Sciencey bit: Type 1 diabetes

First things first, what is diabetes?  Most people who have diabetes have diabetes mellitus which has to do with inability to regulate blood sugar. The sugar in question is glucose which is what cells use to make energy. Blood glucose is regulated by two hormones; insulin (which tells cells, including special storage cells in the liver, to take in glucose) and glucagon (which tells the liver to give back the glucose). In type 1 and type 2 diabetes insulin is unable to regulate glucose because there isn’t enough of it or the body doesn’t respond to it anymore. Insulin is made by beta cells (β-cells) which live in the islets of Langerhans in the pancreas, which is a little organ that makes a hormones (like insulin) and digestive enzymes. In T1D there isn’t enough insulin because the β-cells that make the insulin have been destroyed by the body’s immune system. It is, therefore, an autoimmune disease. The really interesting thing is that it is the β-cells that are destroyed by the immune system and the neighbouring alpha cells (that make glucagon) and exocrine pancreas (which makes the digestive enzymes) are left completely alone. This shows how good our immune systems are at destroying specific things.

 

Lots of children develop disease in their teens but children can be diagnosed as young as six months. Before this age diabetes tends to be caused by a ‘simple’ genetic problem. That is, simple in the sense of affecting only one gene, not necessarily simple to identify or treat. Individuals with T1D have to inject insulin to manage their blood glucose. Insulin was identified and extracted in 1922. However despite the effectiveness of this treatment it still isn’t as good as the homeostasis afforded by the β-cells. This means that people with diabetes can experience a host of complications later in life including blindness, kidney and heart disorders, and lack of circulation in the extremities. This is one of the reasons why it is so important to research this area. There are of course lots of medical research that could help a person with diabetes. For those who have progressed to complications you want to be able to maintain their eyes, kidneys, hearts or toes for as long as possible. For all people with diabetes you want to help them maintain their blood sugar the best they can so that they are less likely to develop complications and enjoy their current life. We therefore have people researching new insulins that can better mimic natural insulin release, people working on artificial pancreases, and people working on transplanting pancreases or islets of Langerhans (where the β-cells live). The other tactic to employ is to try and stop people getting diabetes at all. This doesn’t really help those people who already have disease but IF we were successful it would clearly be the best thing. This ‘if’ is a big ‘if’, but there are lots of people who are trying to make it happen and this is where my work fits in. Can we predict who will develop disease? Can we understand why and how disease happens? Can we find a way to stop disease? The answers are; yes - to a point (see the autoantibody and genetics sections), kind of, and one day!